I don't understand....

1. Laker fans. They riot if we win, and they riot if we lose. But did you SEE that game last night? Unreal. Pau Gasol may look homeless, but that Spaniard is awesome.

2. Stupid people...it's Friday, and they've been everywhere this week. (I guess this goes hand in hand with #1) WHY are people so stupid? I forget that the rest of the world doesn't necessarily surround themselves with people of intelligence and common sense. If that came off as snobby, I totally meant it that way.

3. Men. Don't understand you people. End of story.

4. Why wine must contain so many calories. It's really cramping my style.

5. Where all the Sex and the City reruns went. They used to be EVERYWHERE. I can only watch so many episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond. Ugh.

6. Everybody Loves Raymond (since we're on the subject). People LOVE this show. I don't get it. It portrays husbands as bumbling idiots, and wives as nagging bitches. Yeah, that's NEVER been done in a sitcom before. Way to break new ground. It's painful for me to watch that show.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Gary Coleman

Arnold Jackson and his black goldfish, Abraham have been reunited in the big fishbowl in the sky. Arnold, maybe now you can ask God what Willis was talkin' about.




Your later years on earth did not look like a happy existence for you. I hope you rest in peace, Gary.

And this is why Pioneer Woman and I should be BFF's.

Ask any of my friends...I'm nothing short of a disciple of the Pioneer Woman. I never had any interest in life on a cattle ranch until I started reading her blog. And it just looks like so much darn fun. Hunky husband? Check. Cute kids? Check. Endless photo opportunities on the open plains? Check. Picture taking, cooking, and blog-writing for a living? CHECK. Plus, she's totally my people. I love her fabulous, self-deprecating sense of humor.

Today I read a post she wrote that made me love her a little more. She's the epitome of maturity. Much like myself.



Proof positive that we are kindred souls.



NOTE: I'm not creepy. I have a healthy, non-stalkery respect for PW. Thank you.

Horrifying...

I just read that Gary Busey is a father again. Can't there be a law requiring that he be sterilized? Or better yet, castrated? That gene pool should not be swam in by ANYONE. Heck, you shouldn't even stick a toe in to test the temperature. Gary Busey's DNA is how mutants are created. (Test results are still pending on this.)

Don't know who Gary Busey is? Consider yourself a better human being than I. Here's a video....

I don't understand....

I'm going to make this "I don't understand...." post a regular thing here on the Rant. Now, when I say "regular", God only knows how often that may be, as my posting has fallen embarrassingly short in 2010. I blame Facebook. Or rather, I blame my unhealthy attachment to Facebook. But let's give it a go anyway.

I don't understand....

1. Justin Bieber or "Bieber Fever". Anyone else feel like he looks like Keira Knightly in Domino?
2. Why we still hear about Kate Gosselin.
3. Why "Pretty Wild" has been given airtime on E!. I feel dumber just from seeing the commercials.
4. Why people say liberry, supposably, or Valentime's.
5. Blue Man Group. I've seen it 3 times, and granted, I enjoyed it. But when I think about it, I'm not quite sure why.

More to come...I hope.

I drink coffee now. God help you.

I have a lot of energy. I made it through college and my twenties without becoming a coffee drinker. People are amazed that I haven't succumbed to what every other American considers a crucial morning ritual. In fact, I don't drink caffeine at ALL. It makes me too jittery and nervous. I get BEYOND hyper. Don't like what it does to me.

Until now. My office was recently given one of those espresso machines. It makes individual cups of coffee from these little pods, and also has a separate machine to make milk foam. I decided to see what all the fuss was about, because everyone seems to be worshipping at the teet of this machine. So I had my pal Pants (an ex-Starbucks barista) walk me through the steps of making a latte. It's all a blur now, but there was sugar involved, and somewhere along the way caramel syrup was added as well. And the foam...oh the heavenly foam. Topped off with a cross-hatch of caramel sundae syrup, I was SOLD. I'm now on my 5th consecutive workday of a 10am coffee break. When my co-workers see me stride back to the break room with my mug, they know it means trouble. By Tuesday, Jasmin was advising people to grab a helmet as I walked back.

This is a Disney interpretation of what my co-workers go through when the blessed java hits my system:

Mixed Message

This is what sits outside the building where I work.

Um, really folks? REALLY?