I think I'm done with internet dating that doesn't cost money. Not to say that the paid sites aren't teeming with weirdos, because they are. They're all a cross-section of society, so no matter where you go, some of our fellow humans we meet are just downright strange. I've used both Match.com and Eharmony in the past, but I've gotten considerably more odd messages from the free sites. Most notably, http://www.plentyoffish.com/.
Today, I bring you another charming internet dating exchange, compliments of the aforementioned Plenty of Fish. The following is an email I received from a member no more than 30 minutes ago:
"How would you like to have a guy give you a nice foot massage, then suck your toes and lick your feet while you relax for as long as you want? Let me know if you would be interested. Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Alex"
Ready? Set? GROSS.
No, I didn't mention 'hang out with my totally awesome feet' as one of my interests on my dating profile. And by the way, I did not change his name to protect his anonymity. Alex doesn't deserve protection. WOMEN are the ones needing protection from a creepshow that thinks this is an ok way to introduce themselves. Ladies, if you're surfing through Plenty of Fish, and a foot-loving dude named Alex sends you a message, save yourself the 12 seconds of message reading, and delete without remorse. Unless you're strangely proud of your feet...and if that's the case, you crazy kids just might hit it off.
And you know what? That's not even the worst message I've received while being on this site. But I can't bring myself to post them because they're pure trash. While I know I can post whatever the hell I want on my blog, I'd still like this forum to maintain a SHRED of dignity.
And of course, nothing screams "dignity" like talking about a creep from the internet with a foot fetish. Oh yeah, and lest we forget, there was also "sugar tits". That was a shining moment as well.