An Ode to Cheese.

I realize that I've maintained this blog for over a year, and have yet to really talk about my love of cheese, although the title section of my blog claims that I do. Let's fix that.

Cheese. Fromage. Queso. However you say it, it's mankind's greatest accomplishment. And no, mankind's greatest accomplishment is NOT landing on the moon. That's a distant #2. Here's a rundown of some of my favorite cheeses:

The first stop on our tour is the Apricot Stilton. Trader Joe's carries a great one. (And if you don't live near a Trader Joe's, I don't know what to tell you. Except that you should MOVE.)
This cheese is STUPID good. In my opinion, the stinkier the cheese, the better it is. And you can't go wrong with the fruity/stinky combination. Delish.

Next up, Pepper Jack. My love affair with this stuff started in college. There's nothing highbrow about this one. It simply rules.

The next cheese is Brie. A longtime favorite of mine. The best way to enjoy this is baked. Try and keep up now:

1. Buy a wheel of brie
2. Slather some fruit preserves on top (apricot or raspberry are my preferences)
3. Wrap the whole thing in puff pastry.
4. Bake that sucker.
5. Eat it.
6. Don't share it with anyone.
7. Wash it down with a glass of wine.
8. Pass out from a wine/cheese induced coma.
9. Repeat as needed. Lastly, cheddar. The original gangster, when it comes to cheese, as far as I'm concerned. I prefer a sharp, well aged white cheddar.

There are a few exceptions. Below are 3 cheeses I don't get anywhere near. After all, a girl has to have her standards:

1. Swiss cheese. I hate the taste and it gives me some NASTY gastrointestinal...um, issues. And while I normally like stinky cheese, the smell of Swiss sickens me. Also, paying for cheese that's full of holes makes me think that I'm paying for a bunch of wasted space. No thank you.

2. American cheese. This is not cheese. The only time this should be used is to hide a pill in it for the dog. Otherwise, have some respect for yourself, and just go straight for a nice sharp cheddar.

3. Spray cheese. This is the polyester of cheese. Aerosol and metal cans should not be part of the fromage equation. Gross. The inventor of Easy Cheese should be strung up by his toenails.

I hope your horizons have been slightly broadened. Or that you're at least a little hungry. I also hope that my lactose intolerant readers haven't needed to pop a Lactaid from reading this.

Interesting (or maybe not interesting to anyone else) side note: I hated cheese as a kid. HATED IT.