DWTS: My Suggestions

I was a little disappointed with this week's Dancing With the Stars lineup for the upcoming season. Frankly, I thought it was a big yawn. As I first read the list, I was saying "Um, who?" for half the names. In case you're out of the loop, or smart enough to stay away from reality TV, here's the lineup:

Donny Osmond
Tom DeLay
Kelly Osborne
Michael Irvin
Kathy Ireland
Joanna Krupa
Debi Mazar
Maci Gray
Louie Vito
Aaron Carter
Melissa Joan Hart
Ashley Hamilton
Mark Dacascos
Natalie Coughlin
Mya
Chuck Liddell

ABC, can't you do better than that? After reading that lineup of lameness, I've decided to offer up my services, and create a list of my own. Here are my contestants, in no particular order:


Chuck Norris
Carol Channing
Bill Gates
Tom Green
Dolly Parton
Christopher Lloyd (wearing the Doc Brown wig)
Tommy Lasorda
Rainn Wilson
Chelsea Clinton
Amy Poehler
Mike Tyson
Tiffany
Dave Chappelle
Carol Burnett
John Travolta

TELL me that wouldn't be the highest rated season ever. You've got a solid mix of celebs from the world of business, politics, sports, and entertainment. And it still is chock full of has-beens (a DWTS staple). The only difference is that the ones I chose are awesome. ABC, take note. I won't even sue you for stealing my list. Provided that Chuck Norris wears sequins, and Carol Channing does NOT show her midriff at ANY time.