Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The hats I wear.

Like everyone else, I wear different hats in my life...daughter, sister, friend, musician, recruiter, hooker (just making sure you're paying attention). I started thinking about my weekend job as a wedding coordinator, and about all the things that get thrown at me and my crew every week. Below is a list of all the different hats I'm prepared to wear on any given Saturday...while most of these are hopefully handled by a hired vendor or specialist, the wonders never cease as to the myriad of ridiculousness that has happened over the years. I've learned to anticipate ANYTHING. It keeps things interesting for sure, and no two weddings are alike. I have no doubt that this list will continue to grow with each passing Saturday.

Jen's Hats
-Ceremony Coordinator
-Crisis Intervention
-Timeline Nazi
-Vendor referral service
-Tour Guide
-TOTAL Bitch
-Wrangler of Drunk People
-Ass-Kisser (of Bridezillas, Momzillas, and any other 'zilla' you can imagine)
-Traffic cop
-Hostess/General People Pleaser
-Bride Gopher
-Place Card Alphabetizer
-Improviser Extraordinaire
-Cab Driver
-Cake Decorator/Frosting Fixer
-Security Guard
-DJ and MC
-Makeup artist

and last, but certainly not least...
-Verbal punching bag for a drunk and/or high DJ (yes, this HAS actually happened.)

With the help of my amazing crew, ALL of the things on this list have had to be put to use in one way or another over the years. I LOVE my brides (most of them, anyway), so I don't mind rolling with the punches and putting out fires. It's definitely a labor of love.

Hmm...I've never had to be a minister/officiant. Maybe I should get ordained wouldn't be a bad idea.

* RANDOM WEDDING STORY: Last weekend's wedding was for a Korean family. On the guest list, there was a gentleman by the name of Dong Won, who I'd like to think was a romancer of women from the Far East. Connie Chung (unfortunately, not Maury Povich's Connie Chung) was also in attendance. I absolutely love the names I come across at these weddings.


Wagontrain said...

Have to say I'm honestly surprised "photographer" isn't on that list!

Nemo said...

President Kearns, you can become a Deputy Commissioner of Civil Ceremonies, that will allow you to officiate a wedding for a specific couple.

Jen said...

Yeah, never had to be a photog. I can improvise any of these other tasks, but I can't pull a camera out of my ass! Oddly enough, photography and music are the two things I'm skilled at, yet I've never had to do either. But being an electrician??? Happens ALL the time.

Matt said...

That is truely an impressive and inspiratioinale list of "hats" that you wear on any given saturday where almost anything can happen at any given moment. I am beyond impressed with this list. It covers almost everything, but you should also add salesman when you have to entertain "tasters" and pirate. For when you wear my favorite outfit that looks like you broke into the pirates ride at disneyland.

Vrej said...

oh oh I know, add Dogsitter to that list my friend! Oh and add friend too!