I ain't Karl Lagerfeld, but....

I just want to know how long I should expect "skinny jeans" to be in style. They definitely fall into the category of "throwback from the 80's that should have died with Vanilla Ice's music." I hate them. I have yet to see one person walking around in real life that those things look good on. They flatter NO ONE. And if you're reading this, thinking to yourself, "Well, this bitch doesn't know how hard I rock my skinny jeans." Sorry, Victoria Beckham, even YOU don't look good with a tapered leg. It's true.

I think what has brought this to the forefront of my world is being back in school. That's right...I'm back in school. I'm taking photography two nights a week at PCC, and I've never felt more out of touch when it comes to what I'm supposed to wear. But the great thing about being older is that I couldn't give less of a crap about what's temporarily hip.

And let's get one thing straight. This is not a jealousy thing...I'm not some bitter 30-year old that's envious of the nineteen year-olds running around in their tiny pants. I, in fact, pity their ignorance for wearing these tapered leg nightmares. All I'm thinking of when I see them is how it looks like they're strangling and suffocating their poor legs, and I want to release them from their denim prison. But trying to steal the pants off perfect strangers is what landed me in trouble the last time, and I have vowed to never see the inside of a mexican jail again.

And if you still insist on wearing skinny jeans, then I leave you with this image. Know that when you're sporting your bitchin' jeans, this is what the rest of us are seeing:


Yarf.

And on a side note, I think I just felt an earthquake. Yippee...my favorite. And I've got news for you people, earthquakes come after people in skinny jeans. Beware.